SUCCESSFUL MENTORING: THE THREE IRREPLACEABLE ELEMENTS

Toju and her mentor Mrs. Alfred were the envy of many at work. Their colleagues could not understand what made them special. It was hard to believe that they joined the mentoring program five months ago. They had such enviable chemistry. But it did not stop at chemistry. Both of them were becoming huge successes. Their success was a result of their mentoring relationship. You ask, “What did they do differently?”

Toju and her mentor unlocked the secret to Successful mentoring. It will surprise you to find that the secret to successful mentoring is not a real secret. Many people know them but undervalue them. These secrets are the irreplaceable elements for a successful mentoring relationship. Keep reading; you will soon find out.

THE IRREPLACEABLE ELEMENTS

Every mentoring relationship has three elements. Remember I said it is not huge a secret. Every functional mentoring relationship has them. Although being functional is different from being successful. The elements are:

• The mentor
• The mentee
• The mentoring relationship

It will not be surprising if you say to yourself, “who does not know this?” These elements are a no-brainer. No mentoring relationship can exist without them. However, what makes a successful mentoring relationship is the usage of these elements. Each of these parts must play their roles for the relationship to succeed. Let us see how these elements can contribute to successful mentoring.

THE MENTOR

A mentor is a person with a wealth of relevant knowledge and experience who is willing to guide another person with less experience. A mentor is well-versed in a particular field and wants to help another person in that field. It is one thing to b knowledgeable in an area, and it is another to want to help an upcoming person in that field. The willingness to guide is what separates mentors from professionals. Here are five qualities to look out for in a mentor:

1. The desire to develop others. Beyond having the right and know-how, a mentor must have a passion for helping others. It is this passion that encourages them to go on, even without instant gratification. A mentor must be willing to go the extra mile with you.
2. A mentor must be available. They must be willing to put aside time and dedicate it to the relationship. A good mentor must be available physically, intellectually and emotionally.

III. A wealth of relevant knowledge and experience. Mentors must equip themselves with the correct information to share with the mentee. You cannot be a mentor if you do not have knowledge or experience to share. It is what your mentee seeks you out for in the first place.

“There is gold and abundance of costly stones, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.”

Proverbs 20:15 ESV

1. A mentor who wants to have a successful mentorship must be open-minded. There is no end to learning and no telling what you can learn from your mentee. A mentor should be ready to learn new things and have a growth mindset.
2. Apart from having relevant knowledge and experience, a mentor should have developmental skills. Skills such as giving feedback, asking questions, and listening. These skills are essential to have a successful mentoring relationship.

THE MENTEE

A mentee is someone who has identified a specific personal or professional goal and who believes that the guidance and help of a mentor – and being held accountable to the mentor – can help them achieve their goal. Lorii Myers once said, “If you want the answers-ask the question.” Many people are not satisfied with their current position and level. But a mentee goes a step above the rest by seeking out someone who can help them achieve their goals. These are five qualities a mentee should possess:

A wise person is hungry for knowledge, while the fool feeds on trash.

Proverbs 15:14 NLT

1. Most important is the willingness to learn. A mentee will be wasting their mentor’s time if they are not ready to learn. A mentee must be willing to go through a learning and unlearning process.
2. Good listening skills are essential for a mentee. The ability to listen and decipher what the mentor is saying at any given time is vital for a mentee. The best way to learn from a mentor is to watch and listen to the mentor.

III. Mentees must be set and be clear about their goals. The mentee has to not only set goals but also draw out a plan to achieving them. The mentee is the one who needs help. Hence they have to make the mentor understand how to help them.

1. Feedback is essential for the success of a mentoring relationship. A mentee must be able to give and receive feedback. Honest feedbacks help with the growth of a mentoring relationship.
2. A mentee must be available! Availability is one of the ways to show commitment. The mentee should always make themselves available for meetings.

THE MENTORING RELATIONSHIP

A mentoring relationship exists between a mentor and a mentee. It is a developmental relationship that holds benefits for both parties. For a successful mentoring relationship, the requirements are as follows:

1. Every mentoring relationship has a goal it aims to achieve. The goal is what dictates the direction and schedule of the relationship. The mentor and mentee have to set goals that are S-M-A-R-T.
2. Accountability is irreplaceable in a mentoring relationship. Both mentor and mentee have to be accountable to one another and the relationship. They have to hold themselves responsible for the goals they set for the connection.

III. Mentoring relationships have different structures. Some have flexible arrangements, while others are rigid in their structuring. The parties involved have to decide on the form to follow and adhere to it.

1. Every once in a while, there should be an evaluation of the relationship. To assume that everything is smooth sailing could be fatal. Mentor and mentee have to be sure about the standing of the relationship. Knowing this helps them know when to make amends or re-strategize.
2. Some mentoring relationships get to last a lifetime, but some are for a while. If you belong to the latter group, when the relationship comes to a close, take time to appreciate one another for the relationship’s experience.

Now you know the irreplaceable elements of successful mentoring. Imagine a mentoring relationship with all the elements having the right qualities. That would be explosive! If you lack any of these qualities in your mentoring relationship, be sure to fix them fast.

Thank you for reading. Do you have any qualities you would like to add? Please share them with me in the comment box below.