HOW TO ATTRACT A MENTOR

(Conversation between two friends in their office)

Amelia: Jennifer, what’s up? Why the long face?

Jennifer: I’m just tired and frustrated. Ever since that conference, we attended last month, the one about the importance of mentorship. I have not been able to get anyone to be my mentor. Nobody is really interested in mentoring anyone.

Amelia:  I understand what you are going through. I went through the same until I discovered how to attract a mentor. I will share some of them with you next week. I have to get home now.

                                         (Conversation ends)

“I encourage you all to seek out teachers and mentors that challenge you to think for yourself and guide you to find your own voice.”

-Renee Olstead

If you are reading this now, my bet is you need help attracting the kind of mentor that can help your personal/professional development or you are at least interested in mentorship. Which means you likely understand the importance of having a mentor. Many people go about getting a mentor in the wrong way; after reading this piece, you will be equipped with the right approach to attracting a mentor. Most of the people you will likely choose to be a mentor are busy and have little or no time to expend unproductively. As a result, it will take more than a “will you please be my mentor?” question to gain their attention. I guess now you are wondering “I might have been going about this all wrong? So how do I attract the mentor I need?”Here are some tips that can help you in attracting a mentor.

You have to be ‘attractive’. Ok, that sounds a tad bit exaggerated. But the point is, if you want someone to help/mentor you, you have to present yourself appropriately. Read books, go for conferences, do all you can to develop yourself. Nobody wants to waste their time with someone who is ok with being average. Be thirsty for knowledge in the right places. A mentor would recognize this thirst in you, and only then would they consider taking their chances with you.

Be open to learning. One of the mistakes many people make with potential mentors is they like to prove that they know. I understand that you have learnt and acquired knowledge as recommended above, but if you want to attract a mentor, you need to be teachable. Being open-minded is one of the critical features potential mentors look out for in mentees. They do not want a mentee who thinks they know it all. They want someone who values their advice, someone who will take what they have said and run with it. Learning and unlearning is part of the process.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.

James 1:19 NLT

Ask the right questions. What do you intend to engage a potential mentor with? Questions. You need to ask the right questions, thought-provoking questions that would lead to further interactions. And, do not forget to apply the ideas or initiatives that your mentor shares with you. The results or feedback from putting what you learn from a mentor can ignite further conversations that will take the relationship to another level and help you to be taken seriously. It strokes their egos, knowing someone values their ideas enough to work with it.

You must be appreciative. Showing a potential mentor that you appreciate their time and effort could go a long way in attracting them to become your mentors. And if you believe the relationship has not been profitable to you, appreciate them for their time and move on.

Make the best use of every time you have with a mentor. Turn off mobile phones or any other likely distraction. Mentorship is a beautiful offer; you have to learn to enjoy it while it lasts.

Remember, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with people who are greater than you, who are willing to add value to your life as you try to add to theirs too.

If you know other tips to attract a mentor, please share.  I would love to read them in the comment section.