MENTORING: THE REALITIES VS THE EXPECTATION

As human beings, we are blessed with the ability to think. This ability is what guides us in the decision making process, before we decide to go ahead with a particular project, relationship, investment, we have certain expectations- an envisioned result. This is no different with mentoring, before making the decision to begin the mentoring process or choosing someone to be your mentor or mentee, we have certain expectations. Some of these expectations can be unrealistic and fantasy-like, which could lead to disappointment and frustration at some point, if they are not actualized. This is why it is important to inform and discuss these expectations with our mentor/mentee. Even with God who is all-knowing, we have to make our wishes and expectations known, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”– Phil 4:6. When you do this, discrepancies can be avoided, and it will be easier to work towards the set goals.

                                Expectations of Mentoring

For the peace of mind of both mentors and mentees, it is best that both parties discuss their individual expectations and agree on them and set the goals for the relationship. It is important to understand that mentoring relationships are partnerships that are based on mutual respect and support.

There are some general expectations for both mentors and mentees, some of them include: providing feedback, receiving feedback (mentors should be honest, while being sensitive), to ask for advice or suggestions and adhere to them and many more. Outside the ones listed, there could be so many others, some may even be peculiar to individuals. This is why communicating these expectations is important.

If mentors and mentees can discuss and agree on their expectations, both parties will be on the same page and progress will be achieved. Some other expectations include:

• Plan to be open to trying new things.
• Embrace and respect one another’s differences.
• Each party should be responsible for their own learning.
• Confidentiality should be kept between one another.

                               Reality of Mentoring

First and foremost, mentoring is a partnership, and until this realized, it will be difficult for both parties to work together. It is a relationship involving two people who are willing to work together. The mentor is responsible for providing the mentee with relevant thoughts, ideas and solutions that can help the mentee achieve the set goals. As the saying goes “it takes two to tango” The mentee is to follow the laid down plan of actions.

Contrary to popular opinion, the mentor and mentee are both responsible for making the relationship a success. Expectations should be discussed and agreements should be reached to achieve the reality.