4 WAYS TO RELATE WITH YOUR MENTEE

Discover the best ways to connect with your mentee

Mr Sunday discovered Noah as an intern in the organization where he worked. He recognized in Noah the same passion he had when he was at Noah’s level. Mr Sunday took Noah under his wings as a mentee. He planned to guide and show Noah the ropes to help him be successful. However, he noticed that the relationship was struggling. He could not figure out how to relate to his mentee in a way that would benefit both of them. As a result, the relationship died.

RELATIONAL APPROACH

Also known as the ‘let’s help each other’ approach. Some people view mentorship as a relationship between a junior and a senior, all-knowing individual. There is a widespread belief that the mentee gets most, if not all, the relationship benefits. The beneficial approach seeks to change the hierarchical perception that people have of mentorship. As a mentor, when you take this route, you put yourself in the same position as your mentee as equals.

“Relational mentoring, however, is based on the social exchange theory which suggests that we seek social relationships like the mentoring relationship because of the rewards we expect it to bring, like feeling connected to others.”

“Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Matthew 5:42

DIRECTIONAL APPROACH

In this approach, the mentor offers a mentee direction. The mentor gives the mentee specific instructions on what to do. Some experts frown at this method of mentoring due to the mentee’s dependence on the mentor’s teachings. However, we should remember that the mentor has the knowledge the mentee needs. So, the mentor is more than qualified to give instructions.

RETROSPECTIVE APPROACH

There is nothing a mentee would love more than knowing their mentor was once like them. It puts them at ease and gives them hope. The retrospective approach is relative and empathetic. The mentor sees the mentee as their younger self. It is like the mentee reminds the mentor of how they were. The mentee likewise considers the mentor to be their future self personified. Identifying these is beneficial to the formation and continuation of a good mentoring relationship.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:16

NEGLECTIVE APPROACH

Of all the approaches, this is the least ideal. As the name implies, the mentor is not bothered about what is going on with the relationship. The mentor leaves the mentee to their own devices. Often, the mentor does this when they see that the long term costs outweigh the benefits. Thus, the relationship appears dysfunctional, especially if the mentee is also non-challant about the mentorship.

There is no one sure approach to achieving success in whichever type of mentoring. You have to discover the best choice for yourself. Your method might be combining two or more of the ones stated above or new customization. Eventually, you will find what works for you and your mentee. The goal is to be able to connect with your mentee.

Thank you for reading. Have you tried any of these approaches? Please let me know in the comment box.