MENTORING : 7 THINGS YOU ARE FORGETTING TO DO

There is always that once in a while when you go out and discover you left something you intended on taking behind; it could be your phone, wallet, handkerchief or maybe headphones. It happens to the best of us, and trust me; it usually makes the day a lot less fun.

The above scenario also applies to mentoring, when you are not fully equipped for the process, whether as a mentor or mentee, it becomes an arduous journey. How then do we avoid forgetting these important items behind? A to-do list! Doing this works for me 99% of the time. I make a list of all the things I need to take and do, then make sure every item is checked off my list before stepping out. At the end of the day, I have my phone, wallet and headphones with me, let’s not forget the handkerchief too. Because I need you to have the best mentoring experience, here are five things I want to remind you to do.

Loosen up. As a mentor, you have the natural inclination to be serious and goal-focused, which is not a bad thing because you want to help your mentee. However, it can make you appear strict and inaccessible, which will hinder your mentee from being open and free around you. Do not be a “Bythebook” mentor as Lori Bachman puts it, and you might end up becoming a “Tor-mentor”. So, let your hair down- if you have any, loosen your tie and enjoy the mentoring process with your mentee.

Be enthusiastic. The energy you put into the relationship would not go unnoticed by your mentee, trust me on this. Enthusiasm begins from within; you cannot fake it. That said, you have to be sure you want to mentor the person in the first place, else your mentee will pick up on your disinterest, and the relationship will only go south from there.

Check your biases and impulses. We grew in different environments, with different beliefs and ideologies, so it is safe to say we all have our biases. However, we have to be careful so as not to allow these beliefs to cloud our judgement or affect our interaction with others. Imagine yourself as a Christian, would you be able to mentor a Muslim without letting your personal opinions come in between you.

There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:28 NLT

Listen to what they are not saying. Sometimes your mentee just needs someone to unload to; you have to be able to listen to the subtext. Yes, they are telling you one thing, but your ability to pick up on what they are not saying would help you a great deal.

“Mentorship is all about meeting a mentee where they’re at. You have to listen to the challenge that they’re overtly telling you about, all while hearing what they’re actually saying,”

Beth Robinson

Treat others respectfully. Do all you can to respect the boundaries of your mentee. The lines may begin to look sketchy especially when the relationship has grown in years, but you have to remember to respect your mentee.

As you go forth in your mentoring relationship, keep these in mind, it will save you a lot of trouble.

What else Would you add to this list? Please share with me in the comment section.