BARRIERS IN MENTORING

John and Usman work in the same architectural firm, with John being the senior staff. They were very close as colleagues, so it was natural when the relationship grew into mentorship. Yet, one month into the relationship, things were not working; this caused a strain between them. They were always at loggerheads. They did not know that certain factors can hinder the progress of even the best matches. As with every other relationship, there are also barriers in mentorship.

Here are some of the barriers and how to overcome them.

Religious/cultural barriers

Do you know how they say inter-tribal marriages can be quite a challenge? The same goes for inter-cultural/religious mentoring relationships. Bear in mind that both parties are from different cultural and religious backgrounds. They see things from different perspectives. These backgrounds may come to play and interfere with their decision making, which may not agree with the other party. To overcome this barrier, both parties should be aware of their differences. They should also be considerate and tolerant towards one another.

Mentoring expert Ida Abbott found herself facing some cultural and professional barriers, here are some of the conditions she created:

• Honesty: I let participants see who I am, both my strengths and my limitations.
• Vulnerability: I acknowledged my discomfort, which paradoxically made all of us more comfortable. When they saw that I could admit my unease, they were less self-conscious about their own.
• Curiosity: Rather than worry about my cultural ignorance as a handicap, I turned it into curiosity about the individuals in my group. I wondered: Who are they? What are their lives like? What is their law practice like? What does it mean to be a lawyer – especially a woman lawyer – in their country? What motivated them to take part in this program? I invited them to open themselves to me and to each other, and they did.[1]

In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in us.

Colossians 3:11

Age barrier

Quite common, especially in situations where the difference in the ages is large. Mentor and mentee might not be able to relate on the same level. For instance, millennials have a problem believing the older generation understand and can relate to them. And this usually causes friction in the relationship. The solution lies in the hands of the mentor. The mentor has to come down to the mentee’s level, not to appear high and mighty.

Poor communication skills: Every relationship that lacks good communication is bound to fail. Mentors and mentees should have open and honest conversations. There should be no room for assumptions. There should also be adequate discussions on goals and expectations.

These are some of the most common barriers in mentoring relationships. The best way to overcome them is to be understanding and tolerant. Both parties should be aware of the differences and learn to accommodate them.

Thank you for reading. Have you faced any barriers in your mentoring relationship? Please share with me in the comment section.

[1] https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/breaking-down-barriers-mentoring-across-differences-ida-abbott/